Calme de Nuits
by NotHardlyCharlotte
Summary: Flecks of white pricked at his skin, and he turned his face upward to meet them. Koujo loved the snow.


One-shot to tide you over until I get my crap together with Nature Boy. I was watching Silent Christmas, and the end scene stuck with me. I've always wondered what Lin was thinking. This, I suppose, is one possibility.

**Warnings:** None really, just very sad...

Spoilers (duh): if you haven't seen the show or read the manga...

Quick Note: This stands alone, but can be read as a partner to In the Bleak Midwinter. It takes place during the end of Silent Christmas (redundant, sorry...)

* * *

Martin would be proud, he thought. If he could see the way their new colleagues looked to Noll, how they were carefree and ready to celebrate but stopped, waited for the nod, the resigned 'very well.' How he simply followed their crunching sprints through the snow, how he led them even as he lagged behind. Koujo paused in his own trek just to watch. He'd always known Noll would be a great leader.

Luella would be proud too. Proud to see he wouldn't be spending Christmas alone. Proud that he would sit at his usual spot on the couch, tea in hand, pretending to be separate from the bottles of warm sake, the fruit cake and the carols but watching them beneath his eyelashes. Proud that he was a leader _and_ a friend.

"Bou-san!" Taniyama's shriek bounded off the walls, and he could see her flailing shape flung over Takigawa's shoulder. Their laughter grew quiet as they ran the length of the drive, snow settling in the indents of their footprints. Further and further, until even Noll became little more than a silent shadow drifting over stillness.

Flecks of white pricked at his skin, and he turned his face upward to meet them. Koujo loved the snow. Loved the world it created where everything was quiet, humming with the miniscule impact of flake on flake, and the air tasted pure and clean, and the chill teased his skin to pallor. When he was young, that quiet world would wake him and he'd abandon the warmth of his parent's apartment in favor of toeing through the cold. He'd run the three miles to the Davis home, where the white was purest, untouched. No speaking, barely breathing clouds, lying in the snow until the feeling leached from his limbs. Luella would watch from the kitchen window, call him in for hot tea and a blanket, but until then he'd relish in stillness. Later, when the twins came, he tossed stones at Gene's window, beckoned him and his reluctant brother down to the white world. He'd never seen Gene more serious as his face, plump with youth, was pelted by gentle flakes. The three of them would lie supine while they were steadily buried. No speaking, barely breathing, letting their minds drift and float with the winter air.

"Lin."

He kept his eyes shut, kept his face open to the falling snow. Noll stood in front of him, and he could imagine his drawn shoulders, upturned chin, distant eyes. He could imagine the mirror image, smiling as the snow melted against the warmth of his nose, never distant, careless posture, linking hands with Noll who didn't fight him, who shared his pathless thoughts while Gene spoke them to Koujo.

"The others are waiting." He opened his eyes then, turned to his charge and hoped the memories weren't playing across his face. It didn't matter. They were playing across Noll's. Beneath the iron blankness he could see the turbulence in the younger man's thoughts. Pathless in the most violent sense, twisting and tripping over themselves. Noll held a gloved hand before him, watched the flakes rest, gather and bunch and melt into the leather. Something heavy rooted deep in his chest as they disappeared.

"They're gone so quickly, aren't they?" Noll murmured gently, closing his black fingers around the blacker droplets. Koujo smiled.

"Yes, but they're beautiful while they're here," he offered, folding his own fingers in the wool of his overcoat. In the distance, through the undulating veil of white, he could make out the dark blobs of their colleagues playing by the van. "Let's go."

Later, when the others had stumbled their way home, after he and Noll had carried Mai to her apartment, after he'd hung her present on the tree, Lin pulled out a picture from his wallet. The edges were worn and soft, the gloss almost faded, but the picture was pristine, without a crease or tear. He was sixteen, maybe seventeen, the twins around ten. Luella had caught them unawares before her footsteps could break the spell of the snow. He hadn't even known about the photo until she'd shoved it into his hands as they rushed through Heathrow security.

"_Bring them back."_

Lin studied the unblemished white of the photograph, their stark outlines against it, remembering how cold it had been. He wondered if Gene were cold now. Wondered, and prayed he wasn't.

* * *

So sad. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!

As a note from me in general: Chapter Five of Nature Boy should be out soon (I'm in editing stages right now). I also have a series of one-shots I'll begin posting soon, called Growing Up Ghostbusters. It serves as sort of a prequel to Nature Boy, to help explain the relationships among Lin, Noll, Gene, and Evie. Not OC-centric, don't worry, as it will focus on different combinations of some or all four of them. It does explain Evie's rather confusing backstory, though, which I won't have room for in the main story. Just as a personal rule, I will never write a story in which Evie or any other OC of mine is the main focus. They are meant to further the plot, act as a vessel so to speak, not to _be_ the plot. If that were the case I'd just write original work.

Moving on then. Shout out time! If you guys want to read a heart-breaking, beautifully tragic yet hopeful story by a fantastic author, check out archangelBBQ's Beneath the Lilac Tree, especially if you love Gene as much as I do. Fantastic writing, a wonderfully original plot, honest characters, it's got everything. Seriously, read it, love it, keep it in your pocket, and thank me for enlightening you to beauty!

...I'll leave now. You know it's an issue when your author's notes are longer than the actual story...enjoy! Oh, as always, I am unbeta-ed, so if you see any glaring mistakes, let me know!


End file.
